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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23232763">no return.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aikirai/pseuds/aikirai'>aikirai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Introspection, Post-Season/Series 03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:41:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23232763</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aikirai/pseuds/aikirai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A strange cold was prickling behind his neck, a sensation of something being not right. Thinking about it, he hadn't seen his father or his sister being captured, nor he had seen them at all after the battle. He hadn’t seen them after he murdered the illusion of his father, the image of Claudia running away from him repeating on repeat, the butterflies just flapping their wings weakly on the ground. Unconsciously, he had pushed the thought far far away in his mind, fearing the moment he would have seen them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>no return.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm at it again with the post season stories, yay! So original!</p>
<p>Poor Soren... I completely forgot about my cute bear son in my previous work, so to make up for it, I gave him a voice. Aren't I the best mom?</p>
<p>This was a bit difficult to put together, and I struggled a lot to make it something readable. But the comments people left me on my only other works really spurred me to continue. I received so much love and support, that really, I'm flattered. I never expected this much, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart. </p>
<p>Good reading ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soren woke up, and he immediately felt pain. He groaned, all at once realizing he actually fell asleep on the log he was seated the night before during the victory celebrations, a jug of wine toppled not far from him. He sat slowly on the grass and then stretched his neck, feeling it making funny noises, like it always did since Claudia cured him. </p>
<p>Cinders under the ash still burned softly in the bonfire, the same he had watched all night. Soren sighed. Looking around, it seemed like he had been the only one falling asleep outside, some soldiers in the camp already woke up and attended to their duties. It was still early morning, and Soren yawned, suddenly craving his sister's hot morning brown potion. </p>
<p>He got finally up, feeling the pressure of the disdained looks the rest of the army was giving him. It really felt weird. He gave one or two sheepish grins, but he was promptly ignored. Sure he couldn't have been the only one falling asleep outside, an indicting jug of wine near him, beard growing and smelling strongly of sulfur, like he went through a volcano (which he did), or so he hoped. </p>
<p>He sighed. </p>
<p>Finding Amaya was pretty easy, for how many both of the human and elven soldiers flocked around her for orders, not to mention the sunfire elf near her. She was difficult not to notice, her armor shining so brightly under the morning sun. </p>
<p>It was a little tricky to get near her, excusing all the time he bumped into someone, but when he did he didn't waste time. </p>
<p>"Requesting orders, general." </p>
<p>She looked at him, and did a face that was difficult to interpret. Soren opened his mouth, but then she started signing. </p>
<p>"Before everything you should go get a bath..." Greg, the guy he imprisoned, didn’t seem to remember their shared history, and actually got flustered all of a sudden. "I… I'm sorry, I didn't want to say… She did… Argh… Sorry." </p>
<p>Soren was a bit at a loss of words, while she eyed him annoyed, her arms crossed. </p>
<p>She resumed. "Your priority is protecting Ezran…", she furrowed her brows. "Why are you here, by the way?" </p>
<p>He didn't understand. "What do you mean?" </p>
<p>"Why aren't you at the top of the spire, with Ezran?" </p>
<p>He suddenly felt really embarrassed, and a hot feeling rushed to his cheeks. "No, it's that… Nobody told me I could stay, so last night I got down, but then in the commotion of the celebration, I kinda forgot to ask what I have to do… I didn't even know where my tent was…", he brought a hand behind his head, and laughed a bit. </p>
<p>General Amaya's eyes softened a bit, and Soren felt his cheeks getting even more red. </p>
<p>"But… But it was my fault! So…" </p>
<p>Her hand brought in front of his face stopped him from his rambling, and she swiftly started signing again. </p>
<p>"Listen, now go up the spire, take a bath, and then all of us will meet later to decide how we should get organized to go back to Katholis." </p>
<p>Soren didn't even know they wanted to go back, but still he saluted. "Understood." </p>
<p>General Amaya saluted him too, but then she again looked at him with something too much near pity, and Soren didn't understand neither why she was looking at him like that, nor why her look bothered him so much.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Even with the enchantment still active, climbing all the stairs to the Queen's lair was… breath taking. He had to stop multiple times to catch his breath, and to make matters worse his back was making funny noises again and most of all in undescribable pain for all his sleeping on a log. </p>
<p>"Why have I done it again in full armour?", he wheezed, "Why?"</p>
<p>He leaned against the stone, tempted to just leave pieces of it around. He made the mistake of looking up, and sure enough there still was a long way to go. Soren just felt like sinking to his knees and never getting up again.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Some many many stops and much much much time later, he found himself basically crawling the last stairs, falling flat on his back, and wheezing the last of his breath. Maybe the log hadn't been the best bedding, after all, and he had to be sleep deprived too, because he was feeling a little woozy too. </p>
<p>He tried to catch his breath, laying flat near the stairs, when a flurry of white and blue stepped on him, and then scurried away.</p>
<p>"Zym, where are you running?", it was Callum's voice, and Soren just turned from where his voice came. </p>
<p>He was in front of the lair entrance, Ezran just behind him. For some reason they both had a towel in their hands and a matching exasperated look on their faces. </p>
<p>"Come here, now, there is nothing to be afraid!", Ezran sounded somewhat mortified, his shoulder slumping forward. "It's no use, he's terrified…" </p>
<p>"I guess it has to be… huh?" Callum stopped mid sentence, noticing Soren for the first time. "Soren, is that you?! Are you okay? What are you doing lying there?!" </p>
<p>Soren smiled, and then got up with a jump, instantly regretting everything, feeling the spire spinning under him. He brought a hand on his forehead, his smile faltering a little. </p>
<p>"Hey, are you okay?", they both rushed towards him, seemingly forgetting whatever they were doing with the Dragon Prince, and directing all their concern to him. </p>
<p>"Yeah, all peachy!", he gave two thumbs up. </p>
<p>Then all of a sudden something fell on his head, and the little dragon curled on his shoulders, trembling and whelping his little noises, using him like a human shield of some sort. </p>
<p>"Zym, come on!" Callum exclaimed, his attention immediately shifting to the dragon. "You can't possibly be afraid of water! You too need a bath, just like us!!" </p>
<p>"Don't you want to be all shiny and smelling nice for your mommy?" Ezran's voice was more calm, pulling his arm in the air and trying to coax Zym to him.  </p>
<p>The dragon just plainly growled, his little talons sinking in Soren's armour and one in his neck too. </p>
<p>"Ouch ouch, little guy, I'm not a perch, you know!" </p>
<p>He tried to gently get Zym off him, but the dragon started whelping helplessly again. Ezran's eyes softened, and he let his arms fall down. </p>
<p>"I guess we can't make him do something he doesn't want..." he sighed, and Callum just let go too, putting the towel on his shoulder. </p>
<p>An awkward silence fell between them. Zym just got comfortable on his shoulders, his little muzzle resting on his head. </p>
<p>"Soo…" Soren broke the silence, laughing a bit sheepishly. "What should we do about this?" </p>
<p>Callum looked at Soren, and then looked at Ezran, who in turn looked up pensive, his hand on his chin. </p>
<p>"Nothing… I guess," he said simply, turning to Soren. "We scared him too much, now we just have to wait he calms again…" </p>
<p>"Oh, ok…" Soren was at loss of words. "So we'll wait?" </p>
<p>"Yeah." </p>
<p>He waited, hoped, for Callum to interject as the voice of reason, but he just shrugged. At this point, Soren was just starting to regret even waking up that day. </p>
<p>He cleared his throat, shifting on another foot, and trying to look nonchalant even though he had a dragon on him. "I came up here because the general, I mean your aunt, told me I have to stay near Ezran," he eyed the two brothers when the two shared a look, but he continued. "She has also told me we're making preparations to go back to Katholis…" </p>
<p>"Yeah, kinda…" Callum shrugged again, kicking a little pebble on the ground.</p>
<p>"... And she also told me to take a bath," he sighed, feeling a bit abashed.  </p>
<p>Zym perched all alarmed on his shoulders as soon as he heard his words, and flew away from him, his wings still wobbling and uncertain. </p>
<p>"No, stop, you little scoundrel!" Ezran ran after him, leaving Callum and him alone. </p>
<p>"If you need it, there is a kind of a bath room in the Dragon Guard quarters…" Callum said, looking anxiously towards the entrance to the lair. </p>
<p>Soren's gaze followed his, his eyes catching Ezran still running around after Zym, the chase turned seemingly into a game of theirs. Then he went back to Callum. </p>
<p>"It looked like it was some sort of a order…", he put a hand under his chin. "But I can find a barrel or something... I don't want to impose… On the Queen, I guess? Isn't it weird that it is a dragon?" </p>
<p>"No no, don't worry about the queen…" Callum smiled awkwardly. "And sure it will be better than a barrel… I'll lead the way, hm?" </p>
<p>"Are you sure it’s alright?”, he inquired, all the signals pointing that it was better if he returned later. </p>
<p>"Yeah, sure, everything is alright!" said Callum, his smile still twitching nervously. </p>
<p>Soren just started to think it wasn't really okay he was there.</p>
<p>"Callum, are you…" </p>
<p>"Come!", and he ran to the entrance. </p>
<p>Soren just sighed and followed him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Turned out, simply calling it the "bath room" was actually the right way. It wasn't very big, but it was mostly occupied by the large pool in the middle of it, the sound of water filling the rest of the space. It looked like it had been dug out of the mountain, but still leaving kind of a cavern quality to it, stalagmites on the ceiling dripping down little water droplets. </p>
<p>"That faucet is neat," Soren pointed to the opposite wall, a stone dragon head jutting out from it and pouring water from his mouth into the pool. </p>
<p>"Yeah…" Callum's hand never left the curtain that served as a kind of door to the room, his knuckles turning white from how much strongly he was gripping it.  "Okay...", he took a little step back. "So, I'll just leave you to…" he hesitated, smiling in that awkward way he had been doing a lot.</p>
<p>Soren furrowed his brows. "Dude, I'm not going to try murder your brother anymore, I thought we were past that…", he tried not to sound too annoyed, but he couldn't help it. </p>
<p>"Oh…" Callum hand dropped. And then he laughed out loud. "Oh, no no no, it's not that! Not that at all! It's about another mur…", he gasped, and put his hand in front of his mouth. </p>
<p>"Wha…? What murder?" Soren suddenly felt his heart clenching, his thoughts running to the buried memory of what he did to protect Ezran the day before. A wave of shame crushed his breath, suddenly realizing it was impossible that Ezran hadn't told his brother about it. </p>
<p>"I mean, it was an illusion…", he muttered, his fists shaking at his sides, weak as his excuse. </p>
<p>It looked like it was Callum's turn to be puzzled. "What are you talking about, Soren?" </p>
<p>He should be trusting him, like they apparently trusted him, even with all he did and didn't, but his tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of his mouth. </p>
<p>"Nothing…", he choked out, and turned his look to the stalagmites.  </p>
<p>Callum hesitated a bit, but then he just opened the curtain. "Just try not to fall asleep in the water, okay?", he sounded somewhat sympathetic.  </p>
<p>Soren watched the curtain fluttering into place after he exited, trying to get his breath under control and hide that memory in a corner of his mind to never think about it again.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He fell asleep. </p>
<p>In his defense, the water was divine, neither too hot or too cold, doing wonders for his pained body, and it actually seemed like it was lulling him to sleep. Finding a stone ledge to sit on inside the pool, he just relaxed, the water washing away every dirty thing from his body. </p>
<p>He felt a little guilty putting on the same clothes that he had before, eyeing the armour parts  with undecidedness and for the most part unwillingness. It really was heavy, so much that as soon as he got out of it, he felt thousand times lighter, like a cloud. That, and also he needed someone to help him put it on, that someone usually being Claudia. </p>
<p>Soren sighed, bending over to collect all the pieces and then storing them in a corner of the room, the intention being to retrieve them later. </p>
<p>He had just gotten out when someone bumped into him. </p>
<p>"Sorry Ib…" Rayla lifted his gaze, his eyes gradually widening into a look of pure horror. </p>
<p>"Hi…?" he faltered a bit, not really expecting such strong reaction. </p>
<p>"Ah, uhm… Hi Soren," she tried to school her features into some kind of pleased expression, but failing still. "Fancy… Fancy meeting you here…" </p>
<p>"Come on!" he exclaimed. "What's the deal with you all?! Why are you being all weird all of a sudden? Yesterday you were fine!" </p>
<p>Rayla took a couple steps back, her hands moving in a calming motion in front of her. "Yeah… No, everything's cool, really…"</p>
<p>Then Callum just appeared out of nowhere, tearing along to Rayla. He immediately put his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back a bit towards him, as if he was protecting her. </p>
<p>"Okay, now you tell me what's going on, or I…", he groaned. "I… Don't know, but this," he gestured wildly in the air between them. "This, it's not nice." </p>
<p>He looked with the most annoyed look he could muster, and the two just shared a look. They had to have some telepathy going between them, because Rayla just put his hand on Callum's arm, her look unreadable, and then they just nodded to each other, linking their hands together.</p>
<p>"Listen, Soren…" she hid her face, but then a squeeze of hand from Callum seemed to make her find her courage. </p>
<p>"There is no good way to tell you this, and I don't want to find excuses," her voice was shaking. "So believe me when I said I only did it on the spur of the moment, and you said it too that we had to stop your father…" </p>
<p>A strange cold was prickling behind his neck, a sensation of something being not right. Thinking about it, he hadn't seen his father or his sister being captured, nor he had seen them at all after the battle. He hadn’t seen them after he murdered the illusion of his father, the image of Claudia running away from him repeating on repeat, the butterflies just flapping their wings weakly on the ground. Unconsciously, he had pushed the thought far far away in his mind, fearing the moment he would have seen them.  </p>
<p>A million thoughts passed in his mind, all too confusing and loud, not one of them making any sense. </p>
<p>Rayla stopped, and looked at Callum. She sighed, closing her eyes. "Yesterday it was me who stopped your father. He was on top of the spire… He was doing something to Zym, something evil and awful, and I had failed to stop him moments before, so I had grown desperate and I just…" </p>
<p>"I pushed both of us from the spire." </p>
<p>Soren didn't really understand what that meant, because she was there, so how could it have been, it was impossible. </p>
<p>"I…" Callum interjected, his face mirroring the crestfallen expression of the elf. "I saved her… I jumped down too, and I used the enchantment to fly, and I still don’t know how it worked… So…"</p>
<p>"Good thing you were able to save her, then…" Soren whispered, the corner of his eyes pricking weirdly, his heart beating in his throat. </p>
<p>"Soren, I'm sorry, really…" she sounded like she was on the verge of tears. </p>
<p>He finally looked at her, just realizing he had been gazing at the cold stone floor of the lair for a long time. Her crying face and he look of pity they gave him was a bit too much for him, and suddenly he regretted even asking them everything. He would have liked to never know. </p>
<p>"I… I'm going out, okay?", he passed in front of them, not expecting a hand to stop him. They never did, anyway.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He sat on the ledge of the spire, the sun shining strongly on the camp at the foot of the mountain, the burnt patches of grass conspicuous against  the green of the rest of the valley. The Dragon King was still there, though, majestic even in his eternal broken form. </p>
<p>Rayla did the right thing. He was sure of it. He did it too, and for the exact same reason. But even if it was right, his heart was still clenching unrelenting in his chest, his breath short, his eyes full of unspilled tears. </p>
<p>He clenched his nose, sniffing, but still refusing to cry. It was stupid, and childish. Claudia would have known what to say to him, but he was alone. For the first time in his life, he was truly, really alone. </p>
<p>A hole that hadn't been there suddenly opened in his chest, engulfing him totally, and submerging him in grief. He brought his knees to his chest, tear after tear carving a path of regret on his cheeks.</p>
<p>He should have stopped them. He had been following his sister and his father blindly, never doubting them even for a moment, until it was inevitable, and then he just left them. He made his choice to protect Ezran, and he didn't regret it. But he knew in his heart that he should have tried harder. He should have been stronger. They were his family, his only people in the world, he should have tried harder to stop them and to protect them from themselves. </p>
<p>He hugged his knees tighter, and let go everything.</p>
<p>He missed them.</p>
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